How to Mediate Sibling Fights the Montessori Way
SReviewed by Sara · Montessori teacher
Sibling conflicts — how do I mediate them the Montessori way?
Sibling fights are common between ages 3–6. In Montessori, they're seen as an opportunity to practice conflict resolution — not something to shut down immediately.
Step in calmly and without judgment. Describe what you observe — such as both children wanting the same toy — rather than asking who started it. Name the feelings before jumping to a solution; this often does more to de-escalate than going straight to problem-solving.
Whenever possible, invite the children to come up with a solution themselves, like taking turns. If they're too upset for that, you can suggest simple options — such as using a timer. Avoid comparing siblings or singling out a "villain," as this builds resentment rather than cooperation.
It helps to keep duplicates of popular items at home. Also practice conflict resolution during calm moments, not just in the middle of a fight.
If things turn physical, step in calmly and firmly — without raising your voice. Briefly separate the children, let the emotions settle, and then talk through what happened.